Each time you walked out that door,
Your footsteps getting fainter and fainter,
My heart always fractured in a different way
When I heard the slight sound of the wood brushing against the cement
The reality of it all just broke my heart in a new way.
I've seen enough movies
To discern that it's a cheesy moment when one person saunters off
And the other is left to their tears
I am that person today,
And I understand that as clichéd as it is,
It really hurts a lot.
Especially after I remembered the first time I met you,
With that crumpled book you had to offer in the dark,
When we were stuck in the room with the storm raging against the glass
Then it dawned on me again,
The memory that you gave me half of all your chocolates ever since
Even though that's something not everyone can do
I felt a pang in my chest reliving all those bittersweet memories
Because for better or for worse, you became my family
Especially when I didn't have one of my own.
You really gave me everything you had:
Your clothes, your food, your friendship;
And we became friends,
The inseparable kind
And we did things for each other that nobody would do even for their lovers
Because we began owing it to ourselves to make each other happy.
But why did you give me all those precious things to sell,
When I didn't even have a mere coin in my pocket to repay you?
Why did you keep letting my debts rise,
And laugh it off each time I brought them up?
I was foolish enough to question us then, that
Did you honestly love me so?
So that's why today it hurts a lot more than it did that day
Or on the many days before that
When I was an arrogant and insensible friend
And you, exhausted of always being that impossibly patient comrade, had stormed off in a rage
Because before today or before all those days past,
You hadn't taken that bullet for me
The one that cost us your life
That bullet you took for me
Which could have just as easily made you write a eulogy for me
That bullet you took for me
That would have made you light my pyre, because I had no family
That bullet you took for me
For the reason neither you nor I deserved.